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By: Bobbi Govanus Monday March 1, 2021 comments Tags: #lettingGo, #Forgive, #recrimination, #blame, #Anger, #frustration



One of the most misunderstood concepts is forgiveness.  People think if they forgive that they will be condoning another who has hurt them in some fashion.  I have found that most people who hurt us don’t care enough to even think about our feelings.  As cold as that sounds, it is true.  When we forgive, we let go of their actions and take ownership of our lives. The act allows us to release the angst that we carry about a situation entirely outside of our control.  When someone acts in a way contrary to what we desire, and then we choose to be angry or frustrated, it is all on us! 

Most of the time, I have found that our feelings of frustration are the last thing they are considering!  When I went through a divorce, I was angry and hurt that I did not receive more family support.  After months of angst, I went on a week-long retreat.   The rector devoted one day to the topic of forgiveness.  He suggested writing letters forgiving the people in our lives who we felt had hurt us.  I did so.  We could choose to mail the letters or burn them.  I mailed mine.  The resulting conversations were profound and cemented my sibling relationships. 

Clinging to unforgiveness has been likened to drinking poison expecting someone else to die.  The harm that we do to our body and spirit is astronomical when we cling to hurts.  Stress is a silent killer in our society.  There is nothing more stressful than anger!  Whether it is a slow burn or an inferno, we pay with stomach issues, headaches, joint pain, and eventually auto-immune diseases.  Heart disease and diabetes can result as well if we seek solace in food!  How much better for us to let go and let God judge them. 

You might want to give these Five Steps a try. 

1) Reflect on the situation. ...

2) Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. ...

3) Choose to learn from the experience. ...

4) Let it go. ...

5) Decide where you want to go from here.

Or if you cannot find any common ground, decide that Your peace of mind is more important than holding onto this anger!  You will be glad you decided in YOUR favor! 



Bobbi Govanus

About the Author: Bobbi Govanus

Bobbi loves sharing through the written and spoken word.  She is an Amazon Best Selling Author and has delivered topics that inspire and empower in business and personal life to international audiences.  Bobbi views herself as a Travel Guide on the JOURNEY of Life allowing others to thrive while avoiding wrong turns and rough terrain!  She is an award-winning Entrepreneur and Certified Passion Test Facilitator who helps her clients gain clarity by better knowing themselves and what lights them up.  

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